Captain Underpants 8
by Brockster550
Summary: After ignoring a very important warning, George, Harold and Em end up in an alternate reality after using the time machine two days in a row. They have come across their evil counterparts, as well as Captain Underpants' evil twin. Can George, Harold and Em defeat the Purple Potty People (possibly with a little help)? Reading the story is what must be done to search for answers.


Captain Underpants 8: The Preposterous Plight Of The Purple Potty People

fanfic by Brockster550

No copyright intended, the fanfic is all I own

Prologue

Continuing from their last adventure, George, Harold and Em (along with Sulu) enter the Purple Portable Potty Time Machine to return Crackers back to the Cretaceous Period of the Mesozoic Era, ignoring Melvin's warning not to use the time machine two days in a row (due to the fact that an oppozo-dimensional reality rift would open up if this occurred). Now they are currently dealing with traveling through an electric whirlwind of air in an unknown abyss. So what will happen once everything stops?

Ch. 1

George, Harold and Emily

This is George Beard, Harold Hutchins and Emily Krupp. George is the skeleton on the right with the tie and the flat top. Harold is the one on the left with the t-shirt and the bad haircut. Emily is the only girl in the middle with shoulder-length blonde hair kept straight, a polka dot blouse and a red overall skirt. Remember that now.

As you might remember from their last adventure, George, Harold and Em (Emily's nickname that George and Harold picked for her) made the mistake of using the time machine without giving it a day to cool off. This has resulted in creating a sub-paradoxical, dimensionalistic altericon-shift, which opened up a hyper-googliphonic screen door into a sub-omnivating ultra-zinticular bio-nanzonoflanamarzipan. To put it in scientific terms, _they screwed up_. But don't worry, X-ray beams are a normal by-product of inter-dimensional reality-shifting. This whole mess will be cleared up in a few seconds.

See? What did I tell you? George, Harold, Em, and their loyal pets Sulu and Crackers suddenly found themselves wishing they had never set foot inside the petrifying Purple Potty that was about to send them all on a journey into the horrifying abyss of the unknown... a journey that was about to spell out impending doom for themselves, and would most likely bring about the end of our civilization as we know it... But before I can tell you that story, I have to tell you this story.

Ch. 2

Those Wacky Grown-ups

It's usually been said that adults spend the first two years of their children's lives trying to make them walk and talk... and the next sixteen years trying to get them to sit down and shut up. It's the same way with potty training: Most adults spend the first few years of their child's life discussing pee and poopies, and how important it is to learn to put your pee-pee and poo-poo in the potty like big people do. But once children have mastered the art of toilet training, they are immediately forbidden to ever talk about poop, pee, toilets, and other bathroom-related subjects again. Such things are suddenly considered rude and vulgar, and are no longer rewarded with praise, cookies nor juice boxes.

One day you're a superstar because you pooped in the toilet like a big boy, and one day all of a sudden, you've been sent to the principal's office because you said the word "poopy" in American History class (which, if you ask me, is the perfect place to say that word). You're probably wondering, "Why in the world would adults do that? Why would they encourage something one day, and discourage it the next?" The only answer I can think of is that adults are totally _bonkers_ and should probably be avoided at all costs. Perhaps you'll be lucky and find a small handful of adults who can be trusted. But I'm sure we can all agree that you really have to keep an eye on most adults, most of the time. Which is what George, Harold and Em did.

Ch. 3

The School Of Hard Knocks

Unfortunately, most of the adults at George, Harold and Em's school were anything _BUT_ trustworthy. Take their principal, Mr. Krupp (who is also Emily's uncle), for example. Mr. Krupp's wicked heart thrived on the teardrops of children (all except Emily, his sweet little niece). His very soul danced at the thought of crushing a child's spirit and dashing his or her hopes and dreams against the jagged rocks of never-ending despair (though, he has a soft spot for his niece).

Each day, Mr. Krupp would stand in the doorway to his office, gleefully handing out detention slips to any child who was unfortunate enough to cross his path... even for the most unusual and minor infractions such as "smiling," "breathing without permission," and/or "smelling funny." As bad as Mr. Krupp was, most of the teachers and staff at George, Harold and Em's school were even _worse._

Fortunately for George, Harold and Em, the majority of their educators who were evil, were not very intelligent nor bright at all. They could be outsmarted easily, and usually were. Now you're probably wondering that it wasn't very sporting for George, Harold and Em to outsmart dumb people, and perhaps you're right. But George, Harold and Em were just trying to make the best of a bad situation. But unfortunately for George, Harold and Em, their current situation was about to get worse, much, MUCH worse...

Ch. 4

Purple Pottyville

After several intense, seemingly-eternal minutes of flashing orange lights, X-ray beams, and lightning-infused electric whirlwinds, the Purple Potty finally stopped shaking and sputtering, and came to a sudden halt. Thick yellow smoke poured from its glowing-hot tailpipes as the grinding gears and coughing motor shifted into power down mode. George, Harold and Em had no idea what to expect next.

George, Harold and Em opened the door very cautiously and looked around, but didn't see what they expected. They were supposed to be perched on the branch of a tall prehistoric tree in the Cretaceous Period of the Mesozoic Era. But they stepped out of the Purple Portable Potty. They were disheartened to see that they were in their school library, right where they had started.

"What _exactly_ are we doing _here?_ " asked Em.

"I have no clue," said George. "But something here is strange!"

"Yeah," said Harold. "We're in our school library... except, the bookshelves are full of books!"

"I guess that means we're in an alternate universe or something!" stated Em.

"Yeah, it sure looks like it!" said George.

Harold carefully tucked Crackers back into his backpack, while George tucked Sulu back into his shirt pocket as the three kids looked around the brightly lit library.

"Well, hello, kids!" said the librarian, Miss Singerbrains. "Would you like to check out some books and expand your minds today?"

"No thanks." said George.

"Wait a second," said Em. "Didn't you get fired in our last book?"

"Not that I recall," said Miss Singerbrains. "If you want to check out books, stop by anytime!"

So she walked away, making Em more and more suspicious.

"I don't feel good about this!" explained George.

"Not feeling good?" asked Melvin Sneedly, who is struggling to comprehend an easy-to-read children's best seller: _FrankenFart vs. the Bionic Barf Bunnies from Diarrhea Land_. He was also wearing his clothes incorrectly. "Perhaps you should go see the nurse!"

"We have a school nurse?" asked a confused Harold.

"Well, yeah," said Melvin. "His office is right next to our five-star gourmet cafeteria."

"Uh, thanks, but we'll be fine." said Harold, who turned to George and Em as Melvin walked away. "We always had only a box of band-aids and a rusty saw."

"Yeah," said Em, who was getting even more suspicious. "Something fishy is going on here!"

Ch. 5

Strangers In Paradise Lost

As George, Harold and Em walked down the hallway of their school, Em's suspicions were continuing to increase by the second. The three were trying to see if they really _were_ in an alternate universe. Just then, Miss Anthrope, the crabby school secretary passed by the three, and smiled kindly.

"Why hello there, George, Harold and Emily," she said in a friendly voice. "Hope you three have a wonderful day!" Miss Anthrope walked away.

"That was odd!" said Em.

"Yeah, something strange sure is going on here!" stated George.

The three made it to their lockers, where Harold put Crackers into his locker along with Sulu.

"They're asleep," said George. "They can take their nap in here."

"Okay," said Harold. "We better get to class before the bell rings."

On their way to their homeroom, George, Harold and Em spotted the lunch sign and decided to change the letters around. Just as they finished, their principal, Mr. Krupp, caught them red-handed.

"Hey, bubs!" he said. "What do you think you're doing?"

"We... were just..." stammered Em.

"Well, uhh... ummm." George stuttered.

" _Please eat my plump, juicy boogers?"_ said Mr. Krupp with glee, who also laughed. "That's the funniest thing I've seen all day! You just crack me up!" Then, with a spring in his step, Mr. Krupp pranced away, whistling a merry tune.

"I don't get it!" said Em, who couldn't quite figure out what was going on. "My uncle isn't wearing his toupee, and he is nice in general, as well as having a sense of humor." George and Harold were confused about Mr. Krupp acting that way.

George spotted a nearby poster saying: _"Imagination is more important than knowledge!"_

"I guess that means imagination is emphasized and knowledge isn't allowed." said George.

"Perhaps!" said Harold.

"Even my suspicions are getting higher." said George.

"Oh no!" Em panicked, looking down the hallway where their lockers were, spotting three kids walking down the hallway.

So George, Harold and Em hid behind a trash can. "There they are!" whispered Em.

The three kids were reading a comic book. The one on the left had on a t-shirt and a flat top, the one on the right had on a tie and a bad haircut, and the one in the middle (being the only girl) had her blonde hair in a low ponytail, with a red blouse and a polka dot overall skirt. Please feel free to remember that now, if you wish.

"That's... that's us!" whispered Harold.

"How can that be?" asked George quietly. "Only _we_ are us!"

George, Harold and Em continued hiding while their three look-alikes approached the lunch sign. Then a devilish grin came over their faces as they quickly rearranged the letters around on the sign. The three look-alikes also snickered wickedly as they finished their prank.

"Well," said Em. "This proves that we are really in an alternate universe!"

Ch. 6

The World According To Em

"What?" asked George and Harold.

"The Purple Potty brought us to an alternate universe where everything is reversed!" said Em.

"That can't be," said Harold. "That only happens in lame children's stories."

"Well, let's take a look around." said George, who's suspicions were also already increasing by the second.

The three friends walked to the cafeteria and took a whiff.

"Strange," said Harold. "The cafeteria doesn't smell like dirty diapers, greasy dishwater, nor moldy tennis shoes anymore. It smells like... like food!"

"Yep." said George.

Next, the three went to the gymnasium.

"That's weird," said Harold. "Our gym teacher isn't fat anymore, but is muscular. He's also not being mean and cruel to the non-athletic kids like he usually is."

"Yep," said Em. "Not to mention that he still coaches the Knuckleheads!"

"Maybe our evil twins didn't do anything that indirectly changed the team name and mascot." guessed George.

Finally, the three stepped outside. "That's even more strange," said Harold. "Our past enemies aren't evil. They've been transformed into good guys somehow."

The three kids then looked at one another.

"We have to get outta here." said Em.

"True that," said George. "This is just getting too strange!"

So the three ran back to their respective lockers.

"We better grab Sulu and Crackers before something bad happens!" said Em with worry.

"Good idea," said George and Harold. The three made it to their respective lockers, but when Harold opened his locker, their pets were gone.

"Oh no!" cried Em with heavier worry.

" _Where the heck are Sulu and Crackers?"_ asked George.

"I have no idea," said Harold. "Nobody else has our locker combinations except..."

"... _our twins!_ " gasped George.

So Harold tried to shut his locker, but the door jammed on something.

"What's that?" asked Em.

"Looks like a comic book!" said Harold.

He picked it up and held the front cover and read it out loud. George, Harold and Em gasped, realizing now what they were up against. Their evil counterparts comic book was called: _The Preposterous Plight Of Captain Blunderpants._ The comic also revealed that Evil George did the coloring, Evil Harold did the writing, and Evil Em did the drawing.

Ch. 7

Not Without My Hamster (... And My Pterodactyl)

"I think our evil twins made this!" said Harold.

"They must have," said George. "The artwork is bad. I'm also pretty sure that some of the words are misspelled."

"Not to mention that some of the coloring is out of place!" said Em.

"Well, we better get outta here!" said Harold.

"We can't leave Sulu and Crackers behind!" said George and Em.

George, Harold and Em ran to a window and looked out. There they saw their three evil twins sneaking home, with their beloved pets.

"How do Sulu and Crackers not know that those are our evil twins?" asked Harold.

"They're still asleep." noticed Em.

"Well, we need to stop our evil twins before the situation gets outta control!" stated George.

So George, Harold and Em followed their evil twins sneakily. The three knew that their evil twins were heading home. Once Evil George, Evil Harold and Evil Em walked into the treehouse (without closing the door), George, Harold and Em sneaked up to the treehouse, to see what their evil twins were up to. George, Harold and Em found a window that was easily accessible (to look into at least). They saw Sulu and Crackers looking confused, but their evil twins weren't in sight. Evil Em came downstairs and (to Em's surprise) was starting to put make-up on, with her lips covered in dark purple lipstick. She also gave herself dark eye shadows, gave her blonde hair some black streaks, and then painted her fingernails with black nail polish.

"Dang," said Em quietly. "My evil twin happens to be sort of a girly girl!"

"That's odd," said George quietly. "That isn't like you, Em."

"Yeah," said Harold quietly. "Even I can't imagine you doing any of that girly girl stuff!"

"Let's sneak over to the door." suggested George.

"Okay." said Harold and Em.

While they were doing that, Evil George and Evil Harold climbed downstairs just as Evil Em finished putting on make-up.

"That's good, Em." said Evil George.

"Thank you," said Evil Em. "I just have to make sure I'm ready."

"Good thinking Em!" said Evil Harold.

So the three evil twins laughed an evil laugh, enough to send shivers and chills down George, Harold and Em's spines. So the three climbed up the ladder quietly to see what was going on.

Ch. 8

Hypno-Horror

George, Harold and Em saw something that was a million times worse than they could have ever imagined: their beloved pets were getting hypnotized by their evil twins.

"You will obey our every command!" said Evil Harold.

"Yeah," said Evil George. "And you will be really wicked from now on!"

Evil Em laughed wickedly. This made George, Harold and Em gasp, which wasn't a smart thing to do if you didn't want to go unnoticed.

"HEY, LOOK!" shouted Evil Harold, pointing his finger toward the door. _"GASPERS!"_

"GET 'EM!" shouted Evil George to their hypnotized pets.

Crackers, dazed and confused, didn't move. He just shook his head and looked a little confused. Sulu immediately sprung into action. He lunged at George, Harold and Em, grabbing their shirts and yanking them to the ground.

"Hey," noticed Evil Em. "Those kids look exactly like us."

"What shall we do with them?" asked Evil George.

"We can't take any chances," said Evil Harold. Then he called to Sulu in a loud and commanding voice: "DESTROY THEM, O WICKED HAMSTER!"

Crackers didn't understand what exactly was going on, but the plucky pterodactyl knew what had to be done... and _quickly_. So with a sudden whoosh of flapping wings, Crackers swooped down and grabbed George and Harold with his feet, while Em climbed onto his back after Sulu got distracted, thus allowing Crackers to fly the three away from the relentless robotic rodent.

"Oh, NO!" screamed Harold. "Crackers is gonna fly us high into the air and drop us. WE'RE DOOMED!"

"Actually, I think _he's_ trying to rescue us," said Em.

"But _he_ got hypnotized just like Sulu," said George. "Why on Earth would _he_ do the opposite of what _he_ was hypnotized to do?"

"And why are all of our pronouns getting italicized?" asked Em.

"Let's not worry about that now," said Harold. "We need to get outta here."

"We can't leave Sulu behind!" cried Em.

"Don't worry," assured George. "We'll come back for Sulu!"

So the four friends flew to the school and headed upstairs to the library.

"Hey! That looks like a pterodactyl." said Mr. Krupp as our heroes dashed past him.

This made George, Harold, Em and Crackers more and more determined to get out of the alternate universe.

"Let me pet him! Let me pet him!" cried Mr. Krupp as he started chasing the heroes.

George, Harold, Em and Crackers finally reached the library, luckily just in time to see Sulu and their evil twins smash through the ceiling with a terrible crash.

"You jerks won't get away this time!" said Evil George.

Desperately, George, Harold, Em and Crackers tumbled into the Purple Potty, and slammed it shut, and quickly reset the controls. Mr. Krupp and Sulu started pounding on the door of the Purple Potty, Evil George and Evil Harold started shaking the malfunctioning time machine from side to side, while Evil Em tried to pry the door open (refusing to acknowledge that it got locked). All at once, an orange light started flashing wildly. The Purple Potty began to shake and wobble violently. Then the entire room lit up with an explosive burst of lightning as the Purple Potty (and everyone around it) disappeared into a whirlwind of electric air.

Ch. 9

Ka-Blamski

Suddenly, there was another blinding flash of light. Everyone around the Purple Potty flew off in different directions. Then the Purple Potty stopped shaking and wobbling, and switched into shut down mode. George, Harold, Em and Crackers peeked out.

"Well, we must be back in our own reality," said Harold. "The bookshelves are empty."

"Well, we need to make sure." said George.

Harold tucked Crackers into his backpack and crept out into the hallway. As they peered into the windows of various classrooms, they saw room after room full of heartbroken and despondent-looking children.

Some of the kids were either standing in the corner, some were sitting on dunce stools wearing humiliating hats, while others were writing unbelievingly degrading sentences over and over on the chalkboard, with the teachers searching the lunchboxes, stealing the best desserts.

"Yep," sighed George. "We're back in our own reality."

"Well, I never thought I'd say this," said Harold. "But it's good to be home."

"No kidding," agreed Em. "Now, we'd better get to the treehouse."

Ch. 10

Purple Potty People Unite!

Meanwhile, back in the library, Evil George, Evil Harold, Evil Em, Sulu and Nice Mr. Krupp were slowly coming to. The four alternate humans were looking around the strange library with empty bookshelves, confused and curiously rubbing the back of their heads.

"Woah," said Evil George. "The library has no books on the bookshelves."

"I guess this is an alternate universe." stated Evil Em.

"Yeah," said Evil Harold. "We can do well in a place like this!"

So he walked over to a drinking fountain and splashed some water onto Nice Mr. Krupp's face. Suddenly, Nice Mr. Krupp's confused smile turned into an evil frown. He ripped off his outer clothing and tied a red curtain around his neck. Then Evil Em handed him a toupee, with the pernicious principal standing before them, snarling angrily through his flared nostrils.

"I AM CAPTAIN BLUNDERPANTS!" he shouted in a thunderous voice. He started laughing wickedly, with Evil George, Evil Harold and Evil Em joining in, and Sulu hissing with wickedness.

Ch. 11

A Sudden Delay

Meanwhile, back at their treehouse, George, Harold and Em grabbed some supplies before heading off to save Sulu.

"We'll need the 3-D Hypno Ring," stated George. "So we can change Sulu back to normal again."

"Cool," said Harold. "We'll also bring the Extra-Strength Super Power Juice, just in case if it's needed."

"Great idea." said Em. "Now, let's go save Sulu!"

So Harold stuffed Crackers back into his backpack, while George and Em double checked their backpacks to make sure that they had everything they needed, with George tucking the 3-D Hypno Ring into his pants pocket. Em started down the ladder first, followed by George and then Harold.

"There you are." said a familiar mildly-agitated voice.

It was George's dad, and he wasn't exactly pleased.

 _"Where do you think you're going?"_ he asked in a no-nonsense voice.

"We forgot something at school." said George.

"Well, that can wait until tomorrow," said George's dad. "We're having dinner tonight with the Hutchinses and the Krupps, remember?"

"Oh, yeah!" George realized.

"I almost forgot." stated Harold.

"Grandparents Day, we got sidetracked." said Em.

"Well luckily, you're fifteen minutes early," said George's dad. "Everybody is still getting ready, so why don't you three go wash up."

" _But the fate of the entire planet is in our hands!"_ cried Em.

"The fate of the entire planet can wait until tomorrow," said George's dad, mildly irritated. "Now, go wash up."

George, Harold and Em went inside to wash up, they looked at one another and decided that it was best not ruin the special occasion. So the three went into the living room to try to pass the time while they waited for dinner. Harold's mom walked in the front door, with his sister Heidi, and grandpa.

"Harold!" greeted Harold's grandpa.

"Hi grandpa!" said Harold excitedly as he went to hug his grandpa.

George's great-grandma came in, "George!" said his great-grandma. "How have you been?"

"Pretty good." said George as he went to hug his great-grandma.

"Well, that's good!" she said.

George's great-grandma went into the dining room to get ready for dinner. Em looked out the window to catch a brief glimpse of her family walking up to the front door. A knock at the door was heard, and George's dad answered it.

"Hello, come on in!" he said.

Em's parents walked in, along with her brother Kipper (who is a tenth grader), her paternal grandparents, and... when her uncle, Principal Krupp also walked in, Em gasped. She believed that her uncle might make George and Harold look bad with his wild stories about the two.

"There's Emily!" said Em's grandparents with excitement.

"Grandma! Grandpa!" said Em, also excitedly, as she went to hug her grandparents (who were the parents of Em's father and uncle).

Everybody started gathering in the dining room for dinner once George's parents finished cooking the food.

"Mommy, when are we gonna eat?" asked Heidi impatiently.

"Soon Heidi," assured Harold's mom. "But George, Harold and Emily have something they want to show the grandparents."

Em looked at her uncle (which he didn't notice) with worry. She wasn't sure if her uncle will take the comic books away, or leave the room while they're being presented. Surprisingly, he turned to her and gave her a genuine smile (as if to encourage her to go ahead). Kipper was keeping his distance from George (especially after spotting his tie).

"Well, we created a comic book for you!" said George, Harold and Em to their respective grandparents.

"Really?" asked Em's grandma.

"Well, let's have a look!" said George's great-grandma.

"I wonder what it's about." said Harold's grandpa.

"I can't wait to see it!" said Em's grandpa.

George reached into his backpack to look for the comic books. "They're here somewhere." assured George while shuffling through his backpack, putting the juice carton on the table. "Ah, here they are!"

George found and pulled out three copies of the comic book, handing two of them to Harold and Em.

"It's about how you turn into superheroes and save the world." stated Harold.

"Yeah, I did the writing!" said George.

"I drew the pictures!" said Harold.

"And I colored the pictures Harold drew!" said Em.

"Well, that's very nice you three," said George's dad. "Now, let's eat."

"We have something important, dad!" said George.

"Yeah, it's an emergency." said Harold and Em.

While the three continued arguing, Harold's grandpa poured a glass of juice for George's great-grandma, a glass each for Em's grandparents and a glass for himself. Then the three grandparents and one great grandparent sat down to read their respective comic book copies (with Em's grandparents holding their copy at the same time). The comic book was called: _The Adventures Of Boxer Boy, Great-Granny Girdle, Super Skivvy, and Big League Bloomer._ The comic book revealed that Harold's grandpa was Boxer Boy, George's great-grandma was Great-Granny Girdle, Em's grandpa was Super Skivvy, and Em's grandma was Big League Bloomer. Boxer Boy and Great-Granny Girdle were the main superheroes while Super Skivvy and Big League Bloomer were the sidekicks. They did a ritual and recited a certain phrase in order to turn into their superhero forms.

Ch. 12

Meanwhile, Back At The Treehouse...

As George, Harold and Em continued pleading with George's dad to be excused from dinner, a pack of evil thugs were just outside the window, sneaking up to the treehouse, determined to find anything that they could use for their evil plan.

"We ought to create a diversion if we want to accomplish our sinful scheme!" said Evil Harold.

"No doubt about that!" said Evil Em.

Evil George found a small machine with a lava lamp on top of it, which happened to be the Goosy Grow 4000.

"I wonder what this is." he said, inspecting the machine.

Evil George pressed the button, accidentally zapping Sulu in the process, who was inside Evil Harold's pocket. Sulu leaped out of the pocket as he grew bigger and hit the floor with a giant _THUD_! Evil Sulu was now the size of a full-grown sheepdog. The villains smiled at one another wickedly as they watched Sulu growl and snarl ferociously.

"I think we have found our diversion!" said Evil George gleefully, as he zapped Evil Sulu again (who grew to the size of an enormous monster).

As Sulu grew bigger, he leaped out of the treehouse and landed on the ground with a thunderous crash.

"What was that?!" asked George's dad, whose angry look turned into a stunned, worried look.

Everyone jumped up and dashed outside to get a better look at the towering monstrous creature that was snarling and roaring hideously. George, Harold and Em's respective great grandparent and grandparents, for some strange reason, jumped up and dashed pretty fast, the fastest they had moved in a long time, but nobody noticed that (as they were too distracted by the giant hamster thing).

"What is going on?" cried Em.

"Our evil twins must've somehow followed us back to our reality," whispered George to Harold and Em. "We need to stop them and save the world!"

Heidi (being five years old) screamed and started crying, scared of the giant hamster thing, so Harold's mom took Heidi home to comfort her and to try to get her to calm down. Principal Krupp stood still, paralyzed with fright, George's parents went inside, with the grandparents and great-grandparent (who were moving fast, despite being arthritic), while Em's parents and brother helped with escorting the seniors back inside to safety. Sulu was glaring at an already-frightened Mr. Krupp. Em snapped her fingers, and all of a sudden, Mr. Krupp's frightened state turned into a heroic smile, and thus changed into Captain Underpants.

"Tra-la-laaaaaa!" he sang as he ripped off his outer clothing and tied a red curtain around his neck. "Come on, let's go save the world!"

So Captain Underpants started flying (with Crackers flying alongside with George, Harold and Em riding). Captain Blunderpants was tailing them, with Evil George, Evil Harold and Evil Em following by foot, while the heroes were doing their best to keep Evil Sulu distracted.

Ch. 13

Dealing With The Enemies

As the five heroes continued soaring in the sky (looking for a safe place to deal with their enemies), Evil Sulu jumped up and tried grabbing Crackers, but luckily the heroes were just out of the rodent's reach. Meanwhile down on the ground, Evil George, Evil Harold and Evil Em were trying their best to keep up.

"It looks like our diversion is beginning to backfire!" said Evil Em.

"We need to make sure it doesn't," said Evil George. "Our scheme depends on that!"

"For sure," said Evil Harold desperately. "Those heroes need to be stopped at all _COSTS!"_ So they continued following on foot.

The four heroes managed to find a wide-open field several miles from the city (where they felt they could deal with their enemies safely). As they continued flying overhead, Harold turns to George and Em.

"Let's drink the super power juice now," he said. "We need to be prepared."

"Uh, Harold." said George as he eyed the juice carton suspiciously (as it felt too light).

"I'm so _psyched,_ " said Harold. "I've always wanted super powers!"

"Uh... Harold!" said George as he shook the empty juice carton next to his ear.

"I hope I get Kung-fu Grip... and X-ray vision," said Harold. "That'd be so awesome."

"HAROLD!" shouted George as he turned the juice carton upside down. "There isn't anymore."

 _"What do you mean?"_ asked Harold. "There was like half of the carton left like twenty minutes ago."

"Well, it's gone now." said George.

"Maybe it got evaporated or something." guessed Em.

The three kids watched helplessly as their enemies continued following them. So George, Harold, Em, Captain Underpants and Crackers made it to the wide-open field to wait for their enemies. Sulu made it first, and was now snarling like crazy and relentlessly. Captain Blunderpants flew back to get Evil George, Evil Harold and Evil Em. This allowed Captain Underpants to get ready to deal with Evil Sulu.

"Alright," said Captain Underpants nobly. "It's time to take you down."

Ch. 14

The Anti-Climatic Chapter

The battle between Captain Underpants and Evil Sulu was a semi-tough one, but Captain Underpants managed to knock Sulu out with a boulder. George, Harold and Em breathed a sigh of relief as they petted Sulu's face.

"He'll be okay," assured George. "He's just knocked out!"

"Great," said Harold. "That means all of our problems are over!"

"NOT SO FAST!" said a voice coming from the bottom right-hand corner of the page. It was Evil George, along with Evil Harold, Evil Em and the Ultra-Evil Captain Blunderpants. They were mad that their plan isn't going the way they intended.

"Hard to believe that you knocked our hamster out!" said Evil Harold.

"We are gonna teach you a lesson, you goody-goodies!" shouted Evil Em without mercy.

All of a sudden, Captain Underpants flew down to confront his evil counterpart as everyone stood back. Captain Underpants had never dealt with an enemy so powerful. Pound for pound, super power for super power, Captain Underpants and Captain Blunderpants were pitted against each other, for the most critical and ultimate smackdown that...

... _SNAP!_ George snapped his fingers, and the ultra-evil Captain Blunderpants turned back into the Nice Mr. Krupp, leaving Evil George, Evil Harold and Evil Em stunned.

"HEY, how did you find out?" asked Evil George.

"We read your comic book," said George. "Back at the end of chapter 6."

"What's wrong," asked Harold mockingly. "Did you think we wouldn't find out?"

George and Harold found some rope nearby, and then they (with help from Em and Captain Underpants) tied up Evil George, Evil Harold, Evil Em and Nice Mr. Krupp.

"We're taking you losers back to your own reality where you belong." said George.

"And you won't bother us ever again." stated Em.

"Yep," said Harold. "There's nothing that can possibly go wrong!"

"You _really_ shouldn't say things like that!" said George seriously.

"Why?" asked Harold.

Suddenly, lightning flashed, thunder crashed, and the rain came a-tumbling down.

 _"That's why!"_ said George irritably.

As the first few raindrops hit Captain Underpants' pudgy face, he began to transform, after a few seconds, from a confident, powerful superhero into an angry, annoyed elementary school principal. Unlikewisely, the rain-on-the-face thing was having the opposite effect on Nice Mr. Krupp, transforming him, once again, into an arrogant, foul-tempered supervillain named Captain Blunderpants. Evil George, Evil Harold and Evil Em smiled their evilest smiles as Captain Blunderpants snapped their ropes and yelled a triumphant "La-la-traaaaa!" George, Harold and Em quickly started snapping their fingers like crazy. But it was having no effect, it was raining too hard, and Mr. Krupp was getting annoyed.

"What kind of stupid dream IS THIS?!" shouted an outraged Mr. Krupp. "I'm going home to sleep this off. Maybe it'll go away by tomorrow morning!"

And with that, he turned around and started storming off to his house.

"Looks like the tables have turned!" snickered Evil Harold.

"Well, you haven't won yet!" stated Em.

Quickly, George, Harold and Em leaped onto Crackers' back and the four friends flew off towards their treehouse.

"Don't just stand there!" cried Evil Em. "LET'S GET 'EM!"

Ch. 15

Two Minutes Later...

Back in the treehouse, our heroes started searching frantically for something.

"Here it is!" cried George, picking up a familiar machine. "The Shrinky Pig 2000!"

"That's great," said Em. "Now we just need to shrink those evil losers and save the world!"

 _"You're too late!"_ shouted Captain Blunderpants as he grabbed George and Harold by their shirt collars, much to Em's horror.

The Shrinky Pig 2000 dropped into the waiting hands of Evil George and Evil Harold while Evil Em just started laughing wickedly.

"Well, I wonder how this works." said Evil Harold.

"I'm not sure," said Evil George. "We'll need to figure it out."

"Yeah!" chirped Evil Em.

Captain Blunderpants held George and Harold high in the air, which was frightening Em more and more by the second.

"Prepare to be PULVERIZED!" shouted Captain Blunderpants mercilessly.

"We're _DOOMED_!" screamed Harold.

"NOW WAIT JUST A COTTON-PICKIN' MINUTE, YOUNG FELLA!" shouted a familiar voice from inside George's house...

Ch. 16

Nobody Messes With Our Grandkids

The voice was that of Harold's grandpa who stepped outside along with George's great-grandma and Em's paternal grandparents. They were confronting the evil bully, Captain Blunderpants.

"You put those babies down, or you will get the whuppin' of your lifetime." warned George's great-grandma.

But Captain Blunderpants continued laughing wickedly, also tightening his grip on George and Harold.

"We're not going to warn you again, Skippy." insisted Harold's grandpa.

Captain Blunderpants continued to ignore the warning, and kept tightening his grip on George and Harold.

"Okay, that's it!" said Em's grandma.

"You asked for it!" declared Em's grandpa.

So the four senior citizens joined hands, gazed fiercely into each other's eyes and shouted, "Geezer Powers _ACTIVATE_!"

Quickly, they began spinning around and around. Faster and faster the old folks twirled around them, tearing away their clothes and jewelry, and sending the patio furniture flying violently. Suddenly, the twirling stopped, the tornado subsided, and the elderly quartet stood proudly in their underwear, huffing and puffing, and fearlessly facing their foe. Harold's grandpa became Boxer Boy, George's great-grandma became Great-Granny Girdle, while Em's grandpa and grandma became Super Skivvy and Big League Bloomer respectively, much to George, Harold and Em's surprise, even Captain Blunderpants was stunned.

"Well, that was fun, let's do it again, Henry." said George's great-grandma.

"Heh-heh," laughed Harold's grandpa. "Alright, my dear, but we have teach that fat boy a lesson first."

"Oh yeah," said George's great-grandma. "That young fella's got a hankerin' for a spankerin'!"

Harold's grandpa found four spare red curtains with dots on them and handed three of them to the other seniors.

"Not too tight, Henry." said George's great-grandma.

After Harold's grandpa finished tying the curtain around George's great-grandma's neck, she tied a curtain around Harold's grandpa's neck, while Em's grandpa tied a curtain around Em's grandma's neck, then Em's grandma tied a curtain around Em's grandpa's neck, and the four seniors were ready. They approached Captain Blunderpants triumphantly.

"Alright, sonny," said Harold's grandpa. "Prepare to get your bucket whupped by Boxer Boy, Great-Granny Girdle, Super Skivvy and Big League Bloomer!"

So the four seniors did just that, they beat up Captain Blunderpants with combined effort, knocking him out.

Ch. 17

Shrinky-Dorks

"Y'know," George deduced. "I think I realize now what had happened with the Extra-Strength Super Power Juice earlier."

"That explains why our respective grandparents could do all of that." said Em with realization.

"That's for sure." stated Harold.

"Oh yeah?" said Evil George. "Well, you haven't figured _THIS_ out! All we have to do is press ONE BUTTON on this shrinking machine, and you'll all be transformed into tiny little shrimps!" Evil Harold and Evil Em were grinning and laughing wickedly.

"Go ahead and press it." laughed Harold.

"But you're holding it backwards." said Em.

"Really?" said Evil Harold. "Gee, thanks!" He turned it around and pressed the button. ZAP! Evil George, Evil Harold and Evil Em were blasted, much to their horror, and shrunk to the size of potato chips.

"Hey!" shouted Mini Evil George in shock. "What happened?"

"Oh, sorry," said Harold sarcastically. "My mistake."

"Yeah," said Em defiantly. "You were holding it right the whole time. My bad."

"Well," said George. "I think I know three naughty little kids who could really use a spanking!"

So Harold picked up their mini evil counterparts by the back of their shirts, while George gave them several spankings by flicking his finger.

Ch. 18

Wrapping Things Up

"Well, it looks like our job here is done!" said Boxer Boy.

"Yes it is, my big strong man!" said Great-Granny Girdle, giggling gleefully. George, Harold and Em looked at one another in horror.

"Y'know," said Boxer Boy. "There is an all-you-can-eat buffet with a _Senior Citizens' Early-Bird Special_ , but I'd like to share that with a special someone!"

"Well, let's go find it, you big hunk-o-love!" said Great-Granny Girdle as she kissed him passionately, with Super Skivvy and Big League Bloomer kissing each other passionately as well. The scene that followed could best be described as the drooliest five-minute kisses in the history of children's books. Dentures sloshed, wrinkles flapped, and rubbery jowls squished, smooshed, and quivered gelatinously.

"Uhhh," said Harold, who couldn't believe his eyes. "I think I need to wash my eyeballs!"

"Me, too." said George.

"Same here." said Em.

Then Boxer Boy and Great-Granny Girdle turned toward Super Skivvy and Big League Bloomer and asked, "Would you like to join us?"

"I'd be delighted!" said Super Skivvy and Big League Bloomer at the same time. So the Arthritic Avengers flew off into the sunset. George, Harold and Em tried very hard not to think about what just happened.

"Well, I guess we'd better wrap this up." stated Em.

"Yeah." said Harold. "We'll need to get Sulu de-hypnotized and shrunk. Then we gotta go back to the Purple Potty and return those four bozos back to their universe."

"Agreed!" said George and Em. So Harold shrunk Sulu as George was busy de-hypnotizing him.

 _ZAP!_

George, Harold and Em then went to the Purple Potty to return their counterparts and Captain Blunderpants back to _their_ reality, where they belong.

 _KICK!_

Ch. 19

The Chapter Where Nothing Bad Happens

George, Harold and Em finally returned to their universe. As they left the school and began walking back to the treehouse, they were greeted by Sulu and Crackers. Sulu jumped onto George's shoulder and licked his face, then he jumped onto Harold's shoulder and licked his face, and finally, he jumped onto Em's shoulder and licked her face as well. The three laughed with excitement.

"It's great to have you back, Sulu." said Em, petting him.

"Yeah Sulu." said George, also petting him. Even Crackers was relieved that Sulu is back to normal.

"We sure missed you," said Harold, petting Sulu as well. "Sulu is back to his normal personality and size, and the Purple Potty People are back in their reality where they won't be able to bother us again. I guess everything worked out perfectly!"

"Yeah, _nice going_ ," said George irritably. "Why do you have to keep saying things like that?"

"Things like _what_?" asked Harold.

"Didn't you even pay attention at all in this story?" asked George.

"Yeah, did you, Harold?" asked Em, who was also annoyed. "Every time somebody says something like that, it means that something bad is bound to happen!"

"But what could possibly go wrong?" asked Harold.

"Geez, you did it again!" screamed an agitated George. "Look!"

He pointed down the street. The police chief came walking up to them.

"Excuse me," he said. "Have you three seen this man?"

The police chief (and four more cops) pulled out a wanted poster showing... Professor Poopypants!

"No, I haven't..." Em started to say, but then she looked up at a giant robotic pair of pants walking up behind the cops and pointed her finger in that direction.

"What's that?" she asked.

The cops looked behind them. The giant robotic pair of pants unzipped, and out peeked the familiar face.

"It's Professor Poopypants!" said George. The cops laughed.

"Stop LAUGHING!" shouted the mad professor. "My name is no longer Professor Poopypants. I changed it to Tippy Tinkletrousers!" The cops laughed even harder.

"And I have a _special surprise_ for anybody who thinks my NEW NAME is funny!" shouted Tippy.

Immediately, the metallic pants opened up at the top to reveal a type of laser shooter. A brilliant burst of energy zapped the laughing cops, who were suddenly transformed into frozen statues.

"My Freezy-Beam 4000 will take care of anybody who stands in my way." said Tippy.

He then turned toward George, Harold, Em, Sulu and Crackers.

"And now," he said with a wicked smile. "It's time for my _revenge_!"

The five heroes turned around to run away (or fly away in Crackers' case). As they were doing so, Em gasped.

"OH, NO!" screamed George.

"HERE WE GO AGAIN!" screamed Harold.


End file.
